Need Support! Please help
Posted in: Communication – Parent’s Forum
January 17, 2017 at 11:28 am #6684
Hello parents! My drug addict/alcoholic son is back in jail. Already had several DUI’s. Now he (in a complete drugged/drunk state) was wrestling with my husband with a knife in his hand, and we had to call police. They arrested him for the felony “criminal threats” among other things. He is now sober in jail, and saying he doesn’t even remember what happened, and wants us to bail him out of course and come home. I am quite frankly a bit scared if he can resort to this type of behavior, and do not want him to come home unless he admits he has a serious problem and willingly goes to rehab for a while. Please lend me your advice and what you would do. He is a sweet, sensitive boy, but a different person when on drugs. I need to protect myself, and my family. Please help me!
January 17, 2017 at 2:10 pm #6685
Hi 007Ingrid. That sounds like a very difficult situation, I’m so sorry that you’re having to deal with this. The first thing I’d say is that your son is safe and sober right now, and that’s a really important thing to remember. Also, he is now facing the natural consequence of drinking, which can be a very powerful lesson to learn.
As for coming home, rehab isn’t necessarily the answer! Remember, one size doesn’t fit all! Other potential options to consider is if he agrees to enter into outpatient treatment or to try a medication like antabuse (which makes it so that he can’t really drink). Don’t use your biggest guns (rehab and living in or out of the home) until you know you need to!
You do absolutely need to protect yourself and your family. And, if he is willing to make some positive changes, then you might consider ways to reinforce him doing that by allowing him to come home. You are the “expert” on your family, so only you know what’s best and what you’re comfortable with. At the same time, know that you have a lot more options than you realize and that you’re not under any time pressure to make up your mind about how to proceed.
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