I am hoping that someone here can help me figure this out.
My husband has been working on recovery (sort of) but has had 4 relapses in the last three months. =:O
On Thursday he came home after work, totally drunk. I had set my limit after the last relapse, which was to tell him ” if you’re drunk, I don’t want you here in the house with me and the kids.” So I told him he needed to leave. And he refused. Finally, after I just lost it and screamed at him he did leave. I don’t know what I would have done if he didn’t leave.
I had felt like “you can’t be here” was a pretty important “natural consequence”, but somehow that night it was just so hard to get him to leave, it didn’t feel natural. But I also feel that if I don’t stand up for myself with this limit that I have set, that I’m somehow allowing him to drink.
I just don’t see any natural consequences happening for him at this point and in the end, it feels like it’s me that’s dealing with all the ‘consequences’, since I have to feed the kids (ages 2 and 4), get them their baths, into bed, explain why Daddy’s not there, and I have to do it all by myself.
I’m totally worn out and more than a little confused about how this is supposed to work!